The bedroom is the place where you can be the most intimate with your partner, reconnect, cuddle, and, of course, have sex. You see, we’re all vulnerable when it comes to sex, and the last thing you want to do is turn your partner off.
That said, here are 5 Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to the bedroom:
1) DO leave your phone and other electronic devices out of the bedroom
Checking your phone all the time is not only a mood-killer, but it can also lead your partner to feel disconnected from you. Try using the Do Not Disturb feature on your cellphone or using the silent button while spending time with your partner in bed.
2) DON’T ignore the rest of their body
Believe it or not, many people forget to pay attention to other parts of their partner’s body, including kissing their partner when they’re having sex. Gently touching, or better yet, kissing these areas will help excite your partner further.
3) DO make eye contact
Why does this matter? Because it will increase intimacy with your partner. Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to make eye contact the whole entire time, but try looking at each other for at least 3 seconds at a time. This can turn up the volume for sexual intensity.
4) DON’T Stay quiet
Total silence can be a drag. Do you like to hear it when your partner moans a little when their having a good time? Something that simple, or even saying something like, “Mmm…that feels so good,” will not only encourage your lover, it will also educate them of the things you like and want them to keep doing. As you feel more confident, try experimenting with some playful dirty talk. It can connect you to your sense of pleasure, and can actually help you feel even more turned on!
5) DO Communicate non-verbally too
Communicating what you like is not about giving them a list of do’s and don’ts –like this list– but more about giving them cues about what feels amazing to you. Remember, your partner cannot read your mind, so try using nonverbal communication too, like taking their hand and showing them how you like it. Nonverbal can be great for people who are just too nervous or embarrassed about speaking up.
Remember to have fun, if you fall off the bed while trying a new position, just laugh it off! Sometimes learning about what turns you and your partner on can feel like trial and error. If you maintain a gentle manner and use a little humor, it may be easier to communicate your wants and needs. Intimate sexual relationships are meant to connect you with your partner at another level. If you are having difficulties expressing yourself, schedule an appointment with a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual health at Center For Change & Well-Being.